Sending your kids back to school can be a tough thing to do especially when they are young. My sister-in-law has 3 young kids and this year two of them will be in school full time. When talking about sending her two oldest to school she says, “adjusting to 2 kids in school and 1 left at home...this feels weird! There is a lot of separation anxiety and mixed emotions. I have felt excitement knowing they will experience new things but guilt at the same time because they don’t always want to go. I know they need to go to school but I think about their social and academic knowledge and I hope it is adequate.”
There is a little fear and anxiety about leaving home for the students too. When your child has spent so much time with you everyday it is hard to leave mom and dad and go off on this new adventure....
7 Keys to Fighting Fair
Have you caught yourself saying this or something like this to your spouse:
“You never clean up after yourself! I am always picking your dishes up off the table! What makes it worse is you always leave a mess and never consider my feelings and that makes me so $%!@* angry! You always act like such a baby and you always expect me to act like your mother!”
It’s only natural that we become very comfortable with our spouse. But as we unload our thoughts and feelings we need to think about how we are effecting our relationship long term.
When Pursuing Your Spouse Can Push Them Away
Part Three: WATCH & WAIT
The 3 step process developed by Michele Weiner-Davis we have been talking about in the last 2 newsletters that outlines the importance of 1. Stopping the Chase, 2. Getting a Life, and 3. Waiting & Watching is not for everyone. It is important to clarify that this 3 step process can help you save your marriage from divorce IF:
How To Get Busy Getting Back To Life When Your Spouse Has Left You
Part Two: GET A LIFE
The 3 step process we talked about in the last newsletter 1. Stop the Chase, 2. Get a Life, and 3. Wait & Watch is going to save you from becoming a statistic. We talked about when your spouse is leaving or has already left and how most people pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead, and implore the other the stay when they are faced with this life altering moment. This is normal, however, so is divorce.
We all know the staggering statistics about divorce in Oklahoma and how we rank number one in the nation when it comes to divorce. In this newsletter we will talk more about stopping the chase and getting a life. Sticking to this process can make or break your marriage at this point so it is very important to stick with it even though it is hard and could be the hardest point in your entire life.
HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE BACK - Part One: STOP THE PURSUIT
Part One: STOP THE PURSUIT
If your spouse has told you in no uncertain terms that they are leaving, they’ve mentioned that separation is the best thing right now, they would like a divorce, maybe they’ve already filed for divorce, or maybe you sleep in separate rooms and have virtually no contact.
One of the first thing that likely runs through your mind is "oh no, is this the end?" The answer is "no" it's not over. You AND your relationship are not hopeless or helpless.
This technique we are going to talk about for the next couple of posts is known as the Last-Resort Technique and was coined by a lady named Michele Weiner-Davis. Here is the formula:
Women & Depression
We talked about depression in men in the last blog post. Now we want to address depression in the ladies. Depression can have a significant impact on your marriage as you begin to withdrawal. Many of us have heard about postpartum depression and depression throughout pregnancy which often occurs because of the hormonal changes experienced. We will address this further, however, did you know the higher rate of depression can’t be blamed on biology alone? Your life situation and cultural stressors could play a role in your depression as well. In this blog post we will outline the biological causes of depression, such as occurs with pregnancy, and those related to non-biological causes as well....
Symptoms of Depression in Men
Depression effects all of your relationships and looks different for men than it does for women. It isn’t known exactly why it is different for men then it is for women but it likely involves hormones, brain chemicals, and life experiences. This blog will discuss #1 how depression manifests itself in a man’s life and #2 healthy coping mechanisms for men experiencing depression.
How Do I Know If They Will Cheat Again?
Everyone who experiences cheating in their relationship goes through different feelings as they begin to dissect their emotions after infidelity. One question many people have is how do I know they are not going to hurt me again? That is a valid question. One that each individual must answer for themselves. It takes work and guidance to pick up the pieces and make things right.
The following are steps “the participating partner” or partner who violated the trust of the other partner should go through in order to begin to answer the question above. These are just a few steps to get you moving in the right direction.
How Do You Heal After An Affair?
See this article written when Brad was interviewed on Fox23's Great Day Green Country. Click here to see the full story.
Questions Unfaithful Partners Can Ask
Establishing Your Identity As A Couple In The First Year of Marriage
The task of the first year of marriage is to establish yourselves as a married couple - to become comfortable with your identity as a married pair and to adapt to dealing with others as married partners. That challenge is often complicated, however, by relatives who, well meaning though they may be, want to make certain that they still play a central role in your lives...
Talking About the Affair
Changes Newlywed Couples Face
The Risk Involved with Having a New Baby
What Researchers Say about New Parents
Parenting that is compromised by fighting, irritability, and hostility lead to poor parent-child interaction. This creates a dangerous emotional climate for babies. This atmosphere will interfere with an infant’s ability to self-regulate and to stay calm. Both parents are working harder, but they both feel unappreciated. During the first year after babies arrive, the frequency and intensity of relationship conflicts increase 9 times what it was before the baby. It is normal for a mom’s sexual desire to drop precipitously after birth and even stay low for the first year, especially if she is nursing. Consequently, sex declines dramatically...
How To Make Divorce Easier on the Kids
5 Things To Remember When Considering Divorce
1. Set aside a time and place to tell your kids
After you have decided to divorce or separate, tell your kids before you act on it. Both of you should be present and plan what you will say to all of your kids at one time.
2. Prepare to answer your kids’ concerns
Children will have many questions about living arrangements, holidays, school, activities, new parents, pets, and friends. Know ahead of time what some of these questions might be and have your response ready. You can help ease your children’s anxiety by giving them answers to their questions.
3. Keep in touch with grandparents
Grandparents can offer your children a form of support and stability that has been proven to be a major factor in helping children cope with the effects of divorce. Keep grandparents in the loop and ask them for their help during this difficult time.
4. Have a comfortable space for kids in each of your homes
Have some familiar items in a bedroom in each home to offer kids comfort and security. Also, have a space for older kids to place their school books, athletic gear, or musical instruments.
5. Remember marriage counseling can help you avoid divorcing and help you rebuild your marriage.
Coping With Divorce Or Separation?
The way parents handle the stress of a divorce greatly influences their kid’s way of coping with it. Your child will be paying attention to how you cope with your divorce, so eat right and exercise, find a support group, and get counseling. You will be able to take better care of your child if you take better care of yourself....
Do You Know the Symptoms of Depression in Children?
Every kid shows some symptoms of depression from time to time, but the key is to ask yourself if they are showing too much of one or more symptoms.
Does your kid have an increase in headaches, tummy aches, nausea, sleeplessness, or too much sleeping that is not better with medicine or rest?
Does your child show an intense shift in personality or behavior that does not seem right?
Have your child’s symptoms lasted longer than two weeks? Have the symptoms gotten more intense? Do the symptoms come and go, with nothing easing the pain?
Is your child struggling with the thought of death? Does your child draw pictures, write, or ask about death?
Does your child express feelings of hopelessness or say scary things?
Does your child’s sadness interfere with their functioning in daily life?
Do others express concerns about your child?
Has your child tried to express to you that something is wrong?
Do your parental instincts tell you that something is not right with your child?
If your child is suicidal, take him or her immediately to the emergency room.
How Common is Depression?
August 12th, 2011
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has found that 1 in 20 kids and teenagers is significantly depressed.
Almost 30% of 13 year olds show symptoms of depression.
15% of kids have had a major depression episode before they finish high school.
Because many depressive symptoms go unreported, experts predict that 1 in 4 kids will have a serious episode of depression before they finish high school.
Depression is not a normal phase, but it is a serious illness that can have severe consequences that sometimes result in death.
Kids with depression are more likely to develop drug or alcohol problems by their twenties.
Depression leads to suicide for 1 in 10 prepubescent kids.
In the past 30 years, suicide rates have tripled for kids and teens.
44 percent of kids who develop depression before they are 18 years old will go through another episode by the time they are 24 years old.
Almost all of kids with untreated depression will go through another episode in the next three years of their life.
When diagnosed and treated early, kids will usually be able to get out of depression.