Maybe you fight, maybe you don't....

Maybe you just don't feel close and the more you try to reach for your partner the further you seem to feel.

You walk on egg shells trying not to start another fight.  But it's inevitable.  All you have to do is make one wrong move and a terrible argument ignites.

You can't even mention the smallest thing without everything spiraling down to reminders of years of failings.  

Now you’re wondering how to fix things.  What can be done for your relationship when it feels like you’ve tried everything?

Does that seem like your situation? 

If you could learn a new way to talk about the important things would that make a difference?

If you could handle the destructive patterns in your relationship differently would you like that? 

If you had a way to come together instead of falling apart, wouldn’t that be nice?

Why do I feel further apart when I try to get close to my partner? 

When there’s a need or want, we often struggle to ask our parter for these.  It can be hard to bring it up in a gentle way when we’ve exhausted all of our tools.  

Have you tried any of these to get what you need?

• Asking nicely

• Asking gently

• Doing something nice before asking for something you need

• Not asking at all

• Asking repetitively 

• Taking turns asking

• Reading a book before asking for something you need 

• Finding someone or something else to meet the need

• Saying “I” instead of “you”

• Waiting 20-30 minutes to talk

But if nothing you try seems to make a difference then you need something new.  You need a new plan.

Why don’t these things work?

 There’s lots of reasons these methods don’t work for people.  Here are a few reasons they may not work for you:

• Deep hurt

• Trauma

• Bad habits

• Broken trust

• Stress

Surely, there are more reasons but these are some of the biggest reasons.  When you need a new plan and some help call us or click the Orientation Button below.