July 22nd, 2011

Myths about What Causes Dysfunctional Relationships/Marriages Marriage Counseling Tulsa

I want to burst some bubbles about what causes Dysfunctional Relationships/Marriages or what causes Divorce. They are:

1. “Affairs are the Major Cause of Divorce.” Actually the major cause of divorce (80%) of the time is that people become distant and drift apart. This is because the couple failed to maintain there intimacy and friendship over time. Most affairs aren’t about sex, but about friendship that leads to sex. The cheating partner found someone who offers friendship and affection. 

2. “Score Keeping is Okay.” No it is NOT. Thinking that says, “I did this for this person and it never got reciprocated.” Will lead to more trouble and it is in fact a sign that your relationship is in trouble. Happy relationships don’t have “emotional accountants.” 

3. “Dominance Structures in Relationships are Dysfunctional.” Not so fast according to recent research. Research has shown that there is more conflict when people must work out who is in charge of each thing in contrast to when there are gender lines on who does what. Structures in social groups are designed to minimize conflict. Here is what makes “Dominant Relationships” work: both people in the relationship feel like they are being treating fairly and each partner’s emotional needs are being met. 

Remember: marriage counseling can improve your marriage.